A French in New York City in 10 facts

Almost two years in NYC, and the Frenchie that I am has never felt more French, or more American. Let me explain. Being so far away from home made me realize how French I was and how much my country’s traditions were well rooted in me. However, the more I live in NYC, the more I feel like a true New Yorker. It doesn’t matter where you’re from, what matters is where your heart is. And right now, my heart is in NYC.

Being an expat, I can’t help but comparing the culture I was raised in and the culture I now know. The country that gave birth to me, and the country that I now call home. The friends who’ve been part of my life forever and the friends I made as an adult. So here are a few differences I noticed about me the past couple of years. Differences in language, behavior, reactions. Because moving abroad and leaving everything you know behind might not fundamentally change who you are but it fundamentally changes your life.

 

1. I no longer say France, Spain, or the UK (although since the Brexit happened, I probably should!). I say Europe. I understand now why people coming from America don’t just visit one country but rather travel around the Old Continent. It makes total sense now. Europe is like this one big country to me. Now that I live in the US, I realize how similar European cultures are. You just need to step outside of Europe to realize it. Experiencing that big a shift in perspective is amazing.

 

2. I go to the nail salon ALL THE TIME! 10-minute massage? Yes. Mani-pedi? Yes yes yes! You’ll find them at every corner; it’s an institution here. No need to make appointments and spend a fortune on treatments, you can feel rejuvenated in 10 minutes and it will cost you 15 dollars. Now I wonder how I could live without them my whole life.

 

 

3. I stopped apologizing all the time. I should mention that I spent 5 years in London, where the only interaction you’ll see on the subway or on the street is “sorry” and “thanks”. That being said, I also stopped apologizing for who I am. You’re free to be who you are in this country. American people are unapologetic and I like that. I love how they easily talk to you, speak their mind and think aloud, even for the socially awkward me. Which brings me to number 4.

 

4. I talk to people and people talk to me. On the street, at the grocery store, everywhere. At first, I was never too sure if I should reply or start a conversation, but now I just go with the flow and talk back even when I know they’re just thinking out loud.

 

5. I have a bunch of credit lines. Like any good European, I didn’t want anything to do with credit, but eventually surrendered when I realized there was no way around it! You have to build your “credit score” (the score shows how reliable you are when it comes to paying your bills) in order to do anything. I have 4 credit lines to this day.

 

6. I tip everyone, everywhere. This is something I do because I have to, but I seriously hate it. You cannot go the hairdresser’s, the spa or the restaurant without having to tip around 20%. Even the guys bagging your groceries expect a tip at my local supermarket. Everywhere you go, you’ll see people begging for a dollar. Even though service is included in Europe, I became a great tipper there too, force of habit!

 

7. The AC is my best friend. You cannot live in NYC without one, it’s become part of my life and I simply couldn’t live without it (in the summer, that is). Summer in NYC is extremely hot and humid, nothing like what I experienced before.

 

 

 

8. I celebrate Thanksgiving. And I love it. I love the atmosphere, the food, the colors… It’s the American version of Christmas. I’m not going back to France for Christmas this year but I’ll be flying to Paris on Thanksgiving Day, so my mom is organizing a Thanksgiving dinner just for me! See… I even Americanized my family.

 

9. I try to eat local, fresh & organic when I can. Not because I turned into a hipster (I do live in Brooklyn though) but because I need to! Food regulations in the US are different from those in Europe, and you need to be careful what you eat. Same goes with cleaning & beauty products. I buy all my cleaning products from The Honest Company, this is the only brand I know and trust here.

 

10. My friends date. Terms like “dating”, “exclusive”, “seeing other people” are totally foreign concepts to us Europeans. On one hand, I couldn’t do it – not knowing if you’re actually with someone would freak me out – but on the other hand, I wish I could experience it and get rid of this feeling that I’m missing out on something that is so big in this country. Even my single French friends do not date, they meet someone, and they’re either together or they’re not. And even if they’re seeing someone and are not too sure of what their relationship status is, they still don’t call it “dating”, simply because the term does not exist.

Xx

Lili

Ege, a Woman of New York

Is there a better topic than theater when you’re a blogger in NYC? I don’t think so! For my first article of 2016, I interviewed Turkish Actor, Director, Writer and Acting Teacher Ege Maltepe.

I met Ege at one of her improv workshops in Central Park last summer and she gave me a whole new perspective on theater! She made me realize that being a foreigner was not an obstacle to performing and improvising, that improv was not about trying to be funny and that there were techniques to make it work. She’s now directing her sixth play, Women of New York, and is performing in it next month in Manhattan. It is a great fundraising project supporting women, and you can be a part of it now, so go get your tickets right away (ticket info at the end)! But who better than Ege herself to tell us about it…

First of all, who are you, Ege Maltepe?!

I recently turned 33, I love growing older. I grew up in Istanbul, Turkey. I went to acting school in Ankara, (BA), then got a Fulbright scholarship and got accepted to the New Actors Workshop in NYC. A new page in my life opened. I attended Mike Nichols’ master classes for 3 years, got introduced to Spolin improvisation and method acting. I got the chance to meet people like Philip Seymour Hoffman, Kevin Kline, Stanley Tucci and hear their insight. I graduated in 2009 with a thesis project named Variations After Joe, and the process made me realize that I was more than an actor, I could write and direct as well.

I started a company called SPOLIN-IST; spreading Viola Spolin’s work. I worked in a school (New Actors Workshop) as an assistant teacher and stage manager. Became a Lab Artist at LaGuardia Performing Arts Center in 2011 with my play TEA for 3. Wrote and performed a one woman show named TITS in 2013-14. Became a member of 4th U VDay, co-directed the Vagina Monologues with a cast of 40 women! Each time, I realized what the real meaning of theater was, touching people’s lives and hearts and minds. To me this is a social art form, not just entertainment. Theater can change one’s life.

I love love love New York. Now after almost 10 years, I grew a little weary of the city. But if I leave one day, I will definitely miss the ever moving stage picture of NYC.

Could you tell us about your play and what inspired you to write it?

Women of New York is a comedic play chronicling stories of women of NYC in the course of a week, right before a hurricane hits the city. While communicating the struggles and dilemmas of contemporary women, it takes quirky snapshots of NY moments.

I’ve been a part of 4th U Artivists, formerly 4th U VDay, for the last 6 years. Every year the work touched me in a different level; working with a large group of women was a little scary at first, now I love it! Creating theater can be a therapeutic experience, of course if a company functions well. And we have been. Making a real solid contribution to a greatly important cause through the thing I am in love with; it simply is a great match for someone like me who constantly seeks meaning in life.

We were a V-Day group, producing shows by Eve Ensler. Starting from this season we decided to become a new brand, working for the same cause, and came up with the idea of creating our own show. I wrote the play specifically for 4th U Artivists during this summer. The idea of sharing everyday stories of New York women is exciting to me. Every day I think of a new story, or I meet someone or witness something that inspires me, but obviously a play can only have so many pages. I feel like I could write about this forever!

Which organizations are you partnering with this year?

This season’s beneficiaries are Restore NYC, HerJustice and V-Day. Restore and HerJustice are local organizations, Eve Ensler’s organization V-Day’s efforts are global. You can read about them here: http://4thuartivists.com/beneficiaries/.

Could you explain your work as an “Artivist” and how it makes a difference?

I think the salvation of our generation is in the culture and arts. More precisely it lies in changing the culture that is run by the idea of “my ignorance is as good as your knowledge”. When you think about it, violence and intolerance are the major consequences of ignorance.  In order to change that we need to communicate. Not educate but communicate. An artwork touches us on a personal level. An artist can have a direct communication with people from all social and economic classes. It just brings everyone together. Especially theater, it literally brings people together in one room. It’s the best form of art for communication; music, movement and words can all come together. And it’s right in front of your eyes, not on a screen. I believe that art can change you. And I love the idea of raising your voice through creative work. I feel like the reason for me taking space on this earth lies in projects like this.

One thing you couldn’t live without?

Sunlight

One quote on NYC…

If you see something, say something 🙂

One quote on women!

Stop fixing your bodies and start fixing the world! – Eve Ensler

Last but not least, one word that represents you?

Freedom

 

More info on the play: www.womenofnewyorkplay.com

More info on 4^th U Artivists: www.4thuartivists.com

More info on Ege: www.egemaltepe.com

 

Lifestyle series: meet my friend Thav, from Montreal

We all live in different parts of the world and have a lifestyle that is our own. Let’s celebrate everyone’s unique way of living life in this exclusive interview series!

This week, my friend Thav Chhieng, a singer/composer from Paris, is telling us about his adoption city: Montreal!

 

Could you describe your city in a few words and tell us why it is so special to you?

Montreal is a very dynamic city! You can always find something to do here cause we have lots of events every week, if not every day! The best festivals in the world are in Montreal! Most importantly: Montrealers are the nicest people ever! And doors are pretty open here. I love Montreal very much because my friends are so sweeeet and because the city offers more chances and opportunities than anywhere else to artists like me.

What is a typical day in the life of Thav?

First thing on my mind when I wake up: ‘What am I gonna wear today?’ Coming from Paris, I’ve learnt to be superficial. Still, now that I’m here, I dress as simple as possible to ‘fit in’ with the people in the street! So a typical day starts with me putting on a Tee-shirt and a cap on my head. Then I’ll be rushing to see my friends, go to Kpop or Hip Hop class with them, take a bubble tea together, check the ads in search of the words ‘Singer wanted’, and basically always discovering a new place and asking my friends tons and tons of questions about it. Hopefully the night should end in a club or in company of a romantic date.

Can you share with us some of your favourite places?

When I first came to Montreal, there was a place I would often go to named ‘NosThés’. It’s a Taiwanese venue/bar/restaurant in the gay Village where they make the most delicious bubble teas in the galaxy! Seriously! I would go so often that I became friends with the whole staff, cause everyone there is so kind! Still in the Village, there’s that club called ‘Apollon’. I go there nearly every week because they have great events. Some nights you can go there to play video games on a huge screen on stage! You can imagine what it’s like when we all play ‘Just Dance’ there…

Finally, a quote about your city?

I got this one from a beggar and I thought it was major! It sums up very well my vision of life since I started a new one here: ‘If you fear change, leave it here!’ 🙂

 

More lifestyle interviews soon, stay tuned!

A.

 

Kpop: http://kpopcanada.com/

Nosthés: http://nosthescafes.com/?lang=en

Apollon: http://www.apollonmtl.com/

2014 in review

The WordPress.com stats helper monkeys prepared a 2014 annual report for this blog.

Here’s an excerpt:

A San Francisco cable car holds 60 people. This blog was viewed about 1,500 times in 2014. If it were a cable car, it would take about 25 trips to carry that many people.

Click here to see the complete report.

The day I quit smoking

Today is a special day to me. Nine years ago, I did myself a favour and quit smoking. For good. I thought I would never make it. The so-called addiction was consuming me, and all I could think about was smoking. But I had to stop, I had no money of my own, my boyfriend hated it and we were fighting all the time, and most importantly, it was seriously damaging my health. I was diagnosed with asthma and chronic bronchitis and developed hay fever, which wasn’t helping. I was sick all the time.

How to quit?

I tried patches, didn’t work. I tried the gums, didn’t work either. I tried nicotine-free cigarettes, those were really weird. They smelled and tasted like weed and would arouse everyone’s curiosity in the high school yard (yes, smoking was allowed in my high school). So I couldn’t stop smoking but I had to. Then, I heard about a book by Allen Carr called The easy way to stop smoking and about how people were quitting overnight after reading it. I bought it. Best decision I had ever made.

The easy way to stop smoking

Allen Carr explains very clearly that you experience two kinds of cigarette addiction: the physical one, that is insignificant, and the mental one, what he calls the Big Monster. It’s basically all in your head. You don’t actually need to smoke, and (according to another great author named Rob Kelly) you’re not even addicted. It’s just a bad habit you have. You think you’re addicted and you think it’s going to be hard to quit, that’s why it’s hard.

First, Allen Carr makes you want to quit by listing all the negative aspects of smoking. Then, he gives you the tools to quit for good. I’m not going to go into details here (because I don’t remember them to be honest, it was a long time ago!) so if you’re curious, buy the book! The book is not a fun read, it is deliberately repetitive!

Another important point: there’s no limit to how many times you can read it! It doesn’t work the first time? Read it again, and again! I read it three times and I finally got it. Thanks to the book, I felt empowered to stop and I believed it would be easy, and so it was. I chose the first day of my summer holiday and I think that helped break the routine. I quit overnight and never ever smoked anything that is smokable again (ok, I smoked shisha once)!

Smoking is such a bad decision to make (let’s face it, you waste your money on it, you’re damaging your health, it smells bad, it decreases your appetite, it’s bad for your skin, and so on), that to protect you and remove the guilt attached to it, your mind makes you believe that you’re addicted and you can’t help it. But the truth is, you CAN help it. It is not easy to admit, but once you acknowledge that, you have the power to change things. And let me tell you: the sense of achievement you get in return is so worth it. I feel so proud of being in control that I insist on celebrating this special anniversary every year, just to remind myself of how big a deal it is. And as I heard some say at the time, if I can do it, you can do it!

 

So take back control and quit smoking NOW!

If you want direct support, you can also find a consultant and attend sessions. There is no shame in trying and failing. Just experiment and find what works best for you.

I wish a happy smoke-free life to you all!

A.

 

Imperfection is beauty

We usually all agree on what a beautiful woman is: a model, an actress, a princess. They are made beautiful for us and we believe that we will never get there, that we will never be as beautiful as they are. This is all a deception, an illusion. Beauty is not a perfect skin, a flawless face, a flat tummy, a hairless body. Nor is it make-up, beautiful clothes and expensive jewellery. This is all fake. Do you really think those models we see on the cover of magazines or those actresses at red carpet events are real? Even they don’t look like them in real life. Being confronted to perfection on a daily basis, from a young age, can have a dramatic effect on an impressionable young girl. She will want to look skinny, get bigger breasts, wear designer clothes… leading to depression, low self-esteem, anorexia, bulimia…

But who’s responsible? Everyone is trying to meet a need: model agencies, designers, magazines… Fortunately, some people are willing to change things: Stella McCartney only wants size 10 models, Vogue finally banned too skinny models from their pages, and brands like Dove expose what real beauty is. We spend so much time and energy on what isn’t right about ourselves that we forget the most important. For years, all I could see on my face was that my nose wasn’t right, overlooking the rest entirely… We are so harsh when it comes to how we look. For those of you who haven’t seen it, check out the Dove video below, it is quite powerful!

 

Your mind is a pharmacy

The truth is we don’t need expensive products and fancy clothes to feel and look pretty. All you need to do is feel good about yourself and you’ll look good. You’re much more beautiful when you smile than when you frown, don’t you think? Being positive will really have an impact on your health and on how you look. Don’t we say that a woman in love is glowing?! If you don’t believe me, check out the other Dove video below:

 

Impressed much? Now let me show you what real beauty is to me. Flaws are part of nature and should be celebrated.

Flattering, definitely!

Flawless…

Absolutely wonderful

Everything we see, everything we’re told, helps build a wall of misconceptions about ourselves and we need to break that wall, brick by brick. I think it’s important to educate our younger peers and help them realize that what they see in magazines and TV shows is not real. What happens when you strive for perfection and never get there? You’re miserable. My breasts won’t get bigger, my nose will never be small and cute, my hair has no volume whatsoever… That’s just the way I am, that’s how nature made me. Today, I accept that, and everyone should do the same. There is no one like me, just like there is no one like you, and I wouldn’t want it any other way.

A.

My quick and funny encounters with movie stars

Celebrity… It is a strange concept. We’ve all been fascinated by someone famous at some point… What makes us blush and say “Oh my god, look who it is”?! I’ve been there, several times!

I walked past the very famous French actor Daniel Auteuil on the Champs Elysées when I was a teen and I just had to stop him! Which I did… I had just enough time to say “I want to be an actress, could I have a picture?”. This nice man was in a rush, he took my hand, apologized and said good luck!

 

I sat for two whole days a few seats away from Elijah Wood on the set of the Oxford Murders in 2007 and all I said to him was “Could I get a picture?”, which I did!  I was so focused on getting a picture with him that I completely disregarded John Hurt for two days… only afterward did I realize who he was! For the record, shooting a film is not glamorous at all, I’d even say it’s a bit boring, Elijah Wood was playing crossword puzzles in between takes…

 

I walked right past Keira Knightley on Tottenham Court Road in 2008, she was with boyfriend of the time Rupert Friend and she looked so beautiful as always, I couldn’t help but staring! She was pouting, obviously.

 

 

Andrew Lincoln (Love Actually, The Walking Dead) walked in my shop during the summer of 2008! He looked around and walked out to go next door!! Argh

 

Walking down Perry Street in NYC (Perry Street will sound familiar to the Sex & the City fans) in the summer of 2009, my friend and I arrived on the set of the Bounty Hunter. I walked past Gerard Butler without realizing and only saw his back. End of story.

 

 

My dear colleague Leah got me a ticket to see a play called Terrible Advice starring Scott Bakula at the Chocolate Factory in London a couple of years ago. You know who he is, right? You surely remember Quantum Leap (or Desperate Housewives maybe?!) He took his shirt off on stage and I can tell you he looked very hot for his age! He came out for a chat after the show and was very nice.

 

You might know that Diane Kruger speaks fluent English and French… She was dubbing herself in Benjamin Gates when I was an intern at France’s largest dubbing company (Dubbing Brothers) and I met her in the ladies toilet… She looked at me and said hi. I said hi back. How exciting. (I didn’t take a picture, I believe it would have been weird.)

 

 

I had the pleasure of meeting Kristin Davis after watching her perform in Fatal Attraction at the Theatre Royal Haymarket in London last month. She said I was sweet and replied to my tweet, she made my day!

 

 

 

Ok, I have to admit, this isn’t the most elaborate post… I’ll do something deeper next time, promise! 😉

A.

Portuguese gems

Hi peeps!

I didn’t get back from my trip to Portugal empty-handed… Like every year in Algarve, I find some beautiful jewellery at a ridiculously low price! So I won’t brag about how I went to the beach every day, had the most amazing food, took a picture with a dolphin or the fact that people congratulated me on my Portuguese! (Ok just a little bragging!) Today, I would like to show you some of the gems I got for as little as 3 euros!

For years, all I wore was earrings, all sorts of earrings, all the time, of all colours and shapes… But I’ve been into necklaces this past year. The seaside of Algarve is filled with jewellery stalls, there is so much you don’t even know where to look and what to get. Here’s what I brought back this year.

Pink necklace, 3 euros (you can spot my beautiful work of art in the back!)

White, blue and green necklace, 3 euros

Blue necklace (my favourite!), 3 euros

Silver, gold and copper bracelet, 7 euros

White stone ring, 6 euros

Snake double ring (I’m in love with this ring!), can be worn on either hand, 6 euros

No need to lose your shirt to get beautiful jewellery, just head to the south of Portugal 😉

Happy Sunday!

A.

 

Paris seen by Brassai

One of my favourite things to do in winter is to cosy up in my pyjamas and enjoy “Brassaï Paris” with a cup of tea.

I bought this photography book a few years ago when I was living in Paris, in the 1st arrondissement. I would just walk around the neighborhood and soak up the atmosphere. Paris is filled with book stores, so I would regularly go in and browse their photography collections. As I moved to London in 2010, I took this little piece of Paris with me.

Brassai (Gyula Halász) was a Hungarian photographer, sculptor, writer and filmmaker. He moved to Paris in 1924 and became a French citizen in 1949.

His depictions of Paris are beautiful and powerful, especially the mystical pictures of ‘Brassaï Paris’. He is famous for being part of the Humanist Photography movement, along with Henri Cartier Bresson, Willy Ronis, Robert Doisneau, among others, which developed after WWII.

Here are some of my favourites from the book, enjoy!

 

PARIS BY NIGHT

Morris Column, 1933

Staircase in the rue Rollin (Nestlé poster), 1934-35

Lighting the lamps, 1932-33

Two lovers on a public bench and a tramp, Boulevard St Jacques, Paris 14e, 1932

Kiosk, 1930-1932

Lovers beneath a streetlight, 1932

Lovers in a small café, Paris 13e, 1932

Couple at the “Four Seasons” Dance Hall, Rue de Lappe, Paris 11e, 1932

 Môme Bijou at the “Bar de la Lune”, Montmartre, 1932

 

 

SECRET PARIS

 The Duchess of Zoë at the Homosexuals’ Ball at “Magic City”, 1932

Streetwalker, Paris 13e, 1932

At Suzy’s, Paris 6e, 1931-32

Getting dressed, Rue Quincampoix, Paris 4e, 1932

DAY VISIONS

 Hotels used by prostitutes in the rue Quincampoix, Paris 4e, 1932

The kiss, 1935-37

Marlène, 1937

Professor Louis Dimier, Member of the Institute, on the bank of the Seine, 1931-32

Notre-Dame de Paris (devil and pigeon), Paris 1er, undated

The Dream – Shop window on the Boulevards, 1934

ARTISTS OF MY LIFE

Picasso, Paris 6e, 1939

Jean-Paul Sartre at the Café de Flore, Paris 6e, 1944

Dali and Gala at the Villa Seurat, Paris 14e, 1932

Henry Miller standing in the doorway wearing a hat, 1931-32

I hope you enjoyed the travel back in time!

Brassaï Paris, TASCHEN

Happy Sunday!

A.

What’s your name again?

Ariel, Aureile, Aurlie, Lorelei, Aurelia. I’ve been all these and more since I moved to the UK. Having a French name is not easy here. My name is Aurélie and I constantly have to spell it out. Not to mention my last name: Thérézien, no one ever gets it right, and can we blame them? (This is from Brittany by the way, a northwestern region of France I am proud of!). For a long time, I didn’t like my first name. I thought it was too classic, too boring, too ordinary.

My name was supposed to be Sophie but my mum changed her mind for a name that was less common at the time (I’m surrounded by Sophies in the office so thank you for that!). 1986: it boomed! Aurélies everywhere, five just in my classroom in high school! So much for feeling special. We had to find nicknames for everyone, but more about that later.

My name is of Latin origin and means gold (Aurum). So I have a golden name but no one here can pronounce it right. No one but the hundreds of thousands of French people living in London obviously. It also means “dawn” in Greek, funnily enough, I can’t say I am a morning person.

So I never really liked my name. Maybe because of the millions of Aurélies out there? Or maybe it was my mum’s tone of voice when she would call me. She would always call me by pet names (“flea”, “duck”, “rabbit” (this is a French thing…), and the list of animal names continues) unless she was mad at me, then she would call me “Au-ré-lie”, oh oh.

But I wasn’t Aurélie for long. There came the teenage years, where other kids would twist your last name into something funny. In that regard, my last name was a piece of cake for them: in Thérézien, you have “Therez”, and that is a super funny one in France! You could say it’s an old maid’s name. Also famous for sex jokes and an iconic character in the French comedy called “Le père Noël est une ordure” (literally: “Santa Claus is a bastard”). Let me find an English equivalent… how about Gertrude? You see what I mean now? (Please don’t be offended if your name is Gertrude!)

The worst part is that I actually liked it. It started when I was 14 and some of my closest friends still call me that. This nickname is close to their heart for some reason. My brother wasn’t too happy about it. Can you imagine, he fought against this nickname with all his pride when he was a teen, and then I ruin everything, letting everyone call me Therez.

This name had such an impact on me. Everyone would call me that, and many people would actually think that it was my name, saying things like “Is this really her name? Poor girl…”. Laughing out loud. I even heard my philosophy teacher call me that in class (the kind of teacher who would give me a cigarette at the break!). And Therez derived into 13, because it sounds similar in French and symbolizes bad luck. Of course it was a joke, but it stuck too! I didn’t matter as long as I was no longer the generic, all-too-common Aurélie.

Then there was uni. Moved towns, my best friends and I grew apart for a while, and I was Aurélie again. A very sad and cold Aurélie. This is also when my long-term relationship started and I became “babe” to my boyfriend. Changing my identity once again.

Years passed by. I moved to Paris, then London, where I became Aurélie again. A brand new one. Funny fact, I started to like my name. Here in London, it is not so ordinary; people ask about it and even find it beautiful (when they actually get it!). Of course, I never know how to say it when I speak English, and I always give a fake name when getting a toastie at Eat (“What’s your name?” –  “Lili”; much simpler, don’t you think?). Working in languages, I met my lovely Frenchies at work (the “Sophies”) who call me Auré. I had never been called Auré before, it’s like being born again.

“It ain’t what they call you, it’s what you answer to.” – W.C. Fields

Bottom line is: I think I like my name after all. Very much. Thank you mum & dad for the lovely gift!

A.

This article is part of the weekly writing challenge:

http://dailypost.wordpress.com/2014/03/17/writing-challenge-names/

I also found this article from the Guardian to be funny and so very true:

http://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2010/dec/28/say-my-name-british-foreign